Dawn's Evolution

My presentation was last night.
I had been dreading it for too long, I put of studying and refused to touch it until I absolutely had to.
I was one of the last students to speak, so I could enjoy watching the other students screw up, have blackouts and get roasted by the Teacher and the representatives from the companies.
So yeah, I was plenty scared and overwhelmed when it was my turn to get up in front of the class.
My hands were shaking, my knees were shaking, I stood in front of the class with my notes, clicked on my slides and it all went black.

I don't know how I did it, but I did it.
I spoke eloquently, said all I needed to say and for the first time ever I actually spoke loudly enough for the entire class to hear me.
When I was finished I let out a sigh of relief, called up the next speaker, clicked away my slide and took my seat.
I'd survived it, but the worst was yet to come.
To say the teacher and representative roasted us in front of the class would be a vast understatement.
He attacked us full force, she attacked us full force and then a few classmates decided to join the roasting.
And the worst part was, that I had seen it coming. Yep.

See my team consisted of 4 people. Before me there were 2 speakers, one did the introductions and spoke about the company history, the other spoke about current state of the company. Which is where it all went down hill.
See this speaker works at the company that we analyzed, so instead of speaking about our report he just spoke about how he saw the company as an employee there.

Which he gave far too much information and some of it went against what stood in our report. Which is what prompted the roasting.

I am angry at him, but even angrier at myself.
I was a part of it all and I let it happen.
Next time will be better.

I have presentations and exams coming up this month and yet I am not focused.
Instead I am youtubing, sleeping, reading fiction or watching dvd's. I really need to pick up my books and get ready but I'm not.
I'm avoiding touching my coursework like it's infected with some horrible disease. Even this blog post is a manner of avoidance.

Why am I like?
Why do I feel the need to avoid the work I am supposed to be doing in favor of doing nothing. At this point I have been spending more hours just staring at the walls of my bedroom than doing actual school work.
I'd rather sit bored out of my mind than touch my school work.
Even when I know I need to do it if I want my credits for this semester.
Even though I know I need the credits for this semester.
Even though I know that I probably won't be getting a "do-over" for this.

Where does this self-destruction come from?
Where does this need for avoidance come from?
Where does this need to flee come from?
Simply put, how did I get so lazy? When did I get so lazy?
And most importantly how do I snap out of it?

Do you guys ever get days like this?

Part of the Carnival of personal finance
I had the rudest awakening this weekend.
Nothing is certain, I could lose my job just as easily as everyone else.
I always felt like I was on the outside looking in, not really feeling the crisis, just waiting for it to blow over.
And then I woke up.
The crisis is here and it affects me as well.
So I am making my emergence fund my priority and pushing paying back my debt back a bit.
I can do this because I don't have to pay interest on my debt.
I'm not sure how much my E-fund needs but I will be feeding it cash every month from now on and not set a limit.

For February I put 500 in savings and 500 in the E-fund.
For March I will put 900 in my school account and 300 in my E-fund account.
I don't have any more books to buy so I expect it to be a frugal month for me. The only thing that could set me back would be my sisters birthday, I have a set amount that I am willing to spend on her gift and am now on the lookout for that special something.

At the end of the month I will placing all my extra cash into my extra account, the one I keep forgetting to feed even though I absolutely have to.

That is the plan for now.
If I lose my job now I am in deep trouble, loosing my job would mean no more school tuition, books or anything. My schoolfund is way too small right now.
But my E-fund will be my priority, while I plan on continuing my set saving plan for my tuition.

Since I have already defined what my ultimate goals are, it’s time I listed my short term goals. To do this I will be using the SMART method just to put my schooling to good use. Hehe
What is the SMART method? You may ask, the SMART method helps you properly define your goals. SMART is an acronym for:
S=Specific
M=Measurable
A=Attainable
R=Realistic
T=Time based

So here goes:
My Specific goals:

• Pay my school Tuition
• Receive my 2010 goal salary in 2009 ( I need $14 more, hehe)
• Build up an Emergency fund

• Save 2000 Euro’s by the end of February 2010, I still need 1500 Euro’s to pay for next schoolyear
• Get a great performance review and receive more than the minimal salary adjustment (+$14)
• Save up to $1400 and place this amount into a special account for my emergency fund

• Put 150 Euro’s into my school savings account for 10 months
• Educate myself in my new work-project and make use of my contacts. Network some more.
• Put $200 into a separate savings account until I reach the desired amount in my E-fund

• I can live comfortably off the money that will remain in my account.

• I will reach my tuition goal before February 2010 when I have to make my last tuition payment
• I have my performance review on January 23 2009
• I will reach my E-fund amount within 7 months

I need to pay my school tuition in April 2009.
I right now have the beginnings of a E-fund on my bank account and am contemplating transferring that cash to my school fund.
But if I do that I won't have an E-fund anymore.
Decisions, decisions...

This month I will be opening up 2 bank accounts:
1- for salary: this will be opened by my new employer as is standard
2- for savings: I will be automatically relocating about $300 of my salary to this account.
This will be my car-fund.

I still have a few accounts that need to be either closed or be made into savings account. I'm still not sure what I'm going to close yet, I now have a account for every mayor currency. This makes it hard to track my cash. So I need to close a few and move my cash to other accounts I can better keep an eye on.
I will be going to the bank(s) later this month when it's quieter.
Experience has taught me never to go to the bank at the end or beginning of the month.

I still have to figure out when and how to pay for my laptop, I thankfully do not have to pay any interest on it :). But I hate being in debt.

I am still focusing on increasing my income not debt reduction. How?
I took a new job which increased my salary by 31%, (also new stress as it is way above my current skill set).

I am also looking into new ways to increase my income, trying to figure out what skills I can use to make money. Maybe I can get a part time job?

We'll see

How do you increase your income?

This is my starting point:

Thankfully I don't have much in the way of debt.

-I right now owe $500 that I spent on a laptop.

-I am a student and trying to remain student loan free by working my way through college. I work full time and go to school at night. Tuition $2,545.

- I want to buy my very own car in 2009, price range $7,000. I'm on the look out for a fuel efficient car.

-I need to finish school in 2 years time, so I am hard at work.

-I just started my job this month, so I am a bit nervous about impressing the new bosses. I get along great with my new coworkers, now I need to focus on getting myself noticed as a hard/smart worker and line myself up for a promotion as soon as possible.

-After I receive my under graduate degree in 2 years time I want to start work on my graduate degree, a MBA. My new boss says that they may fund my tuition if I prove that I am worth it. I plan on doing just that :).